V is for Valentine

Dear Jay,

It’s been 9 years since we began our relationship.  During that time I have only questioned you on a couple of occasions, but each time I did I realized that you were good enough for me.  You may not always have the best game plans, but you are always the sexiest man in the room.  You have brought sound basketball into my life, and your 12-6 tournament record with 4 Sweet 16’s; 2 Elite 8’s, and of course 1 Final Four fills the cockles of my heart with warmth.

- Yours in Basketball

Dear C-Fish,

My how the time has passed.  4 years ago you stepped on campus and showed flashes of your offensive ability.  Although at times throughout these years, I have wanted you to stick up for me more – read: play some actual defense – you have proved yourself a beautiful lover – read talented offensive player.  I need you to continue to be strong and lead Corey.  I know our time left is short, but I just want you to know I treasure every moment.

- Yours in Offensive Basketball

Dear Pena,

Your soft shooting touch reminds me of past lovers.  Consistently, when you have been needed you have been there, and for that I will always be grateful.  Our time is numbered now Antonio, but you will now share a place in my heart alongside other undersized big men.

- Yours in the High Post

Dear Stokes,

We had such high hopes for our future together back in your younger days.  Although, I know that you will always leave me wanting more, and at times you have left me hung out to dry – 2 for 16 against Providence.  But we both know that we need each other even if that means our relationship is doomed.  Let’s enjoy our what time we have left and make the best of it.

- Yours From Behind the Arch

Dear Sutton,

I can’t explain it, but I like you.  Maybe it is your attractive block rate – 10.5 – or your very high FTrate – 120.7 or your awkward looking nose.  Either way I look forward to seeing where our relationship goes.  We should remain friends for now, but in the future I am excited to spend more time together.

- Yours From the Block Party

Dear Armwood,

In the short time we have known each other; I have become open to giving you my whole heart.  It is mine for now, but as you continue to crack people upside the head, elegantly swipe boards on both ends, and blossom into our unquestioned emotional leader the butterflies will continue to swirl around in my stomach.  When and if you develop the soft lovers mid range touch, I will gladly give myself to you for a chance to have a versatile swingman.

- Yours From the Wing

Dear Maalik,

I’m yours.  You are so giving – 34.3 ARate! – and you never shy away from those challenging moments every relationship has.  Don’t speak, don’t say a word, just continue to play and I will be there.

- Totally Yours Driving in the Lane

Dear Yarou,

God forbid Maalik does not accept my love, you can have me.  We have so much more time together with you pulling down boards – 13.4 OR% & 19.5 DR% - that I just can’t get enough.  I always enjoy our time on the dance floor - great footwork for a big man – and I look forward to our time at the Big Dance later this year.

- Yours in the Paint

Dear Bell,

We are in the ‘just getting to know you stage’ and I am very happy with a first couple of dates so far.  We need more time together – playing only 14.4% of minutes so far – but I can already tell you have all the moves.  I don’t know if I can wait for next year though, so let’s make the most of this small window of opportunity this year and see where it takes us.

- Yours Off the Bench

Dear Cheek,

Breaking up is always hard to do.  But until you mature and show that your are ready for a serious relationship – for starters you could take less 3’s, currently taking 47% of his shots from behind the arc, or you could not make selfish decisions, like taking the last shot off balance and ill-timed in 2 games!.  So until you show me that you are capable of thinking about us and not you then we should just be friends.  Maybe in a year or two when you have realized what you have lost, then you can grow up and we can spend more time together.

- Yours ON the Bench